Initial bg 156, so trending okay. Had frito pie for my non-snack meal yesterday. Antibiotic I'm on is messing with my digestive system but I haven't blown chunks while exercising, so you win! :) I have to go to all day trainings the rest of the week, so won't get to be so strict on the two hour and snack regimen. Will try to stay close to schedule.

morning bg 167 but I took it late. Connor called from jail at 4 am, arrested for possession of weed on campus. Idiot. Bailed at Dylan when he was arrested so following precedent but hard to get bail on holiday. Last night had turkey meatloaf and mashed potatoes, green beans, and salad. Made a big Sunday dinner since I hadn't been cooking much and Dylan moved out last week so first meal back home.

Yesterday I had yogurt till dinner, then I had a salad with shredded chicken. My initial blood glucose this morning was 176-non-diabetics would be between 80-120. My goal is less than 140 bg at waking up. My lowest reading yesterday was 120.

I feel 300 lbs lighter from having a break from teaching-now I want to use that energy to get my shit together. Going to focus on controlling my blood sugar. Yogurt every two hours till I get my blood sugar down to below a hundred, then sensible two hour mini-meals based on the eating for life paradigm. I've been using carbs to control my anxiety-want to redirect my control issues!

I had fish for lunch, skipped breakfast. Two handfuls of potato chips after school (I have big hands, unfortunately) :) Having some trouble with my feet so dinner will be whatever Kensie wants to make. Been craving salt all day.

I don't know why I seem to be unable to do things that are good for me more than one day in a row. I don't want to die in the front of my head but I'm so self-destructive it's astonishing to me sometimes and I have an unusual amount of self awareness for a guy (or human being for that matter). I have been eating too much, of the wrong foods, and even at the wrong times of day. I am letting the approaching end of school be the beginning of positive action, and that's bullshit. Today I had lunch at IHOP with daughters and bought Annie ice cream because she lost her job and had some of her cone when she didn't finish it all. One more week till summer comes.

Finished my second semester as a graduate student this last week. Ate badly and didn't let it concern me, which is not good. If I let myself eat badly whenever I'm overwhelmed I'll just make sure I'm overwhelmed all the time. Fasted today, feel kind of yucky but my head is feeling better. Tired of sinus infections-maybe if I let them scrape out the inside of my skull I'll feel better. While they have my nose peeled up they could make it more narrow :) Tracy had to have that done 6-8 yrs ago and the asshole doctor left her nose a little off center-very disconcerting but she wouldn't sue and hasn't cared enough to get it fixed. Only bothers me...:)

Had cheese and bean nachos for dinner and fish for lunch. I've been craving ice cream, but settling for sugar free popsicles. My throat is sore. 16 days of teaching and first year nightmare over!

Ate well over the weekend. Going to be a good week.