Stayed up to write a paper last night and crashed without posting. Last two days I have eaten mostly peanut butter crackers    

and leftover veggie chili. Work is adding pressure to kids performance on tests. Lots of dissatisfied coworkers getting on my nerves

Very tired, stayed up past bedtime working on a paper.  Dylan, Jaxson, and Connor unwell.  Con had two wisdom teeth pulled today.  I ate well till I got tired and then had a plate of oven baked french fries.

I had fish for dinner and oatmeal for breakfast. My brain will explode from an overload of virtue.

Ate well today but mostly at restaurants and spent too much. Sucks that eating healthy at restaurants costs more than not eating well. Had a veggie pita pocket for lunch and a salad for dinner. Class went well tonight but not home till 10. Long day 

Have been not releasing more stress than I take on, and I have to do better. Embarrassing how much I have been eating.

Annie made salmon for dinner. Trying to have a better weekend than lately. Working on stress. Not enough time to get things together 

Have had a rough week with Tracy away keeping Jax while Annie trains for her new job. Kensie has been stressed and I've been behind in my work and my classes. Haven't been eating meals- just grabbing stuff and going. Very sick of peanut butter on rice crackers :)

I have been sick. Fever and sinus congestion and aching body and general yuckiness. Have been eating too many sweets. 

Yesterday I ate small meals every couple hours and felt much better this morning. Still having to remind myself to take the time to let go of stress during the day. Having fun teaching theater so far.

I think all I've been able to do as I've gotten older is manage to control my bipolar wobble to where some of my life continues to work while other parts just get kinked up worse. I see the younger version of me in Dylan and it breaks my heart 

Yesterday it seemed very clear that this school year isn't going to be as different from last school year as I hoped it would be--and I responded by binge eating carbs and then getting depressed.

Yesterday I made grilled  mahi mahi and rice for dinner but I had fast food bean burritos for lunch. My school bought a new program for a grade book and it is being difficult to integrate into the existing   

systems but I am working on serenity and also cutting back on caffeine.

A no good very bad day.

Last night I was doing the reading for one of my classes and my brain went tilt and I passed out exhausted. Still getting acclimated to things physically. My feet being a problem- not used to walking on hard tile and becoming very red and swollen and painful by the end of the day.   I hope they feel better soon. Tuesday I broke all my dietary rules and ate way too much. I felt bad and out of control. Yesterday was much better. Will feel more organized after this week- still don't have my classroom fully decorated because my theater students and I cleaned up a huge mess on our stage left by my school being remodeled over the summer...

Yesterday I made broiled fish and baked potatoes for dinner. I had a protein bar for lunch and some corn flakes with soy milk for breakfast. 

Last night I made grilled veggies, 3 bean chili, and grilled cheese on sourdough for my dairy eaters. I had lots of 3 bean chili.

Yesterday I took Connor and Kensie to the drive in and had too many potato chips, but otherwise ate well. I feel really fat and tired but I want to feel better.

My phone was dead last night. Need to be consistent in everything for this to help as much as I need it. Was exhausted and babysitting Jax. Ate well yesterday but didn't exercise. Had a bag of nuts and a vegan protein bar for lunch and fish and chips for dinner. Skipped breakfast today. 

Back in harness

I am back teaching and being a student and trying to support my highly dysfunctional brood and spouse. Work takes 50 hours, classes take ten, the weekends wind up being about cleaning and laundry. Tonight I started my face to face to face seminar, and so all the stuff is back. Luckily wise and strong women are telling me to focus on stress reduction, and it's going to be okay. I've been eating whatever whenever(still mostly vegetarian but some fish and eggs. I talked to a dietician and we discussed my protein. Need to lose some mass before I go back to vegan and need to regain some muscle. It's going to be a better year. I have a couple projects going to keep my hands busy :)

I had a black bean burger for dinner with lots veggies. About 100 degrees today-felt like a sauna-and I still feel a bit dehydrated despite lots of fluids.  Worked on my Volvo this afternoon.

I had a lovely mushroom and wild rice soup that Kensie made for me, and I ran a ridiculous amount of errands today.  Tracy got a job but it is 35 miles away and there will first be weeks of training out of town.  We need another car-Annie lost hers in the breakup.

Still feeling a bit crazed, but eating okay.  Saw my psychiatrist today and he kept my meds the same but ordered a thyroid test, lucky me.  Started teaching summer school today-will be different:)

Worked hard today on getting the house clean and organized and baby proofed. Had a picnic lunch of fresh fruit and potato wedges. Had a bean burrito with Spanish rice for dinner at Chuy's Restaurant.  I teach summer school next week...

Struggling with the basics right now.  In the final stretch of final projects due as a student and prepping my kids for testing as a teacher.  Everybody struggling right now.  Food is not as comforting to me without cheeses and meats and such, so that is good.

Been stress eating. Tonight had veggie chili

Tomorrow will be better.

Still struggling, drop in appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow.  Had a black bean burger for dinner.

Made a very lovely spaghetti sauce with red bell peppers, squash, onion and mushrooms.  Spring break starts tomorrow.

Got really, really, really down for a bit but things will get better quicker.  Vegetarianism helped lots and kept me from doing damage to myself with binges.  Mostly worked and slept and had stupid fights with Tracy for the last few weeks.  Last day of school before spring break is tomorrow,  Way behind in my writing for school,  but will try to have some fun this next week.  Fasted today till sundown, then had some fresh fruit and some very nice tomato soup.

I need to find time to plan better meals.  I am still behind in everything but will be caught up next week.  Got very tired in class tonight, had too many  salty foods when I got home.  I will feel bad in the morning and will be dehydrated, and start the day badly.  stumble stumble stumble splat:):):)

I felt really yucky all day. Aches and nausea and lots of allergies. Had a truly horrible soup Tracy made for dinner with excellent cornbread.

Kind of snacked all day without really having a meal. Lots of errands and I had to work in my classroom a couple of hours.  Allergies driving me insane

Yesterday I made meat and potatoes for Connor and Dylan and chickpea soup for the rest of us.  Tonight we had veggie chile at Annie's house while I helped her with some political science coursework. Looking forward to  leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

Had some potatoes and beans after class. Almost exhausted, Tracy and Kensie sick.

Still not missing cheese or meat. Weight loss has slowed, but I need to start increasing my exercise.  Tonight I had pasta and salad.

My knee not good. Been using a walker at work.  Had an apple and some vegan pancakes for dinner, lovely salad for lunch.  Been a strange week, need the weekend to regroup.

I worked today while walking around using a walker.  Felt old. Knee is very screwed up.Very tired.  Had some corn chips and a bowl of cornflakes with almond milk, an apple, and a bean and veggie wrap from freebirds today. Taking painkiller and crashing.

The weekend and food.  Still on a chain of vegan day, otherwise, as my friend and fellow 7th grade teacher Amanda likes to say, I can't even talk about it.  Hurt my knee when I fell Friday night, my one act play is over. Need to focus on spring testing, meeting all day today. Might take off tomorrow. Making steak for my sons tonight. Some kind of soup for us all.

Another long day.  Had an amazing wrap with veggies and beans for lunch, and a black bean soup with corn bread for dinner. Food today was yummy.  Play competition is Saturday.  Stress is getting better.

I have been getting overly stressed and I need to get a handle on it. I hadn't had any dairy or meat since January 2nd and a little bit ago I mindlessly ate a slice of pizza.  Not the end of the world but not a good sign. Skipped class tonight to see Kensie play in her orchestra, play competition on Saturday, had to replace a kid yesterday and the production will be a disaster, but going to have fun anyway. Tomorrow will be better.

The day is the same number of minutes but I am trying to stuff lots more things into them so time is getting all strange on me. A week from Saturday the one act play competition will be done and my life will get less stressful.  Today I had beans and flour tortillas for lunch, and a black bean burger on very tasteless not quite bread stuff.  Also had lots of potato chips for no good reason.  I have a complicated relationship with salt--it makes me feel horrible the next day and is very very bad for my blood pressure  but the swelling makes my back less painful for a while because extra fluid in my tissues takes the pressure off my spinal cord.

Long day at work drifted into a long evening on the campus.  Almost 10 days till competition, sets not done, costumes not done, main character doesn't yet  know his lines.  Had bean wraps at lunch, leftover lentil soup and fresh cornbread for dinner.  Vegan cornbread better  than non-vegan, yeah!:)

I had an amazing lentil soup Kensie made for me for dinner, but then I had too much peanut butter on vegan crackers as a bedtime snack.

The stress is building on me. Working on relaxing. Learned  new guided imagery routine to help me meditate easier.  Pain has been a problem for my zazen practice for quite a long time.  Have to let go of traditional postures.  Had veggie frito pie for dinner, and beans and cornbread for lunch.  Lovely perfectly ripe pear for breakfast.  New day tomorrow. Must remember to breathe...

Had veggie chili for dinner made with the pinto beans I cooked in the crockpot yesterday. Very long day. After school Tracy brought me a bean and rice salad with almonds and dried cranberries which I ate on the way to my class at Tech.  There was an incident at the medical school the other day, but everybody okay.

It's been a rough couple of days but have eaten okay. I am losing some weight but my blood glucose is still too high and I can't seem to get a handle on my life. Working on stress relief every day. One act play competition over the 8th of February and things will get simpler.  Had rice and veggies with a sweet and sour sauce tonight. Yesterday had fun with Kensie making vegan and gluten free applesauce muffins.

Last night I had a vegetable rice pilaf and tonight Mexican food.  Still eating a bit too much  salt.  Soon I want to give up artificially sweetened drinks, but I direct my first one act play competition in 3 weeks and none of my kids know their lines yet, so will wait to make more changes.  Losing weight every week-huge calorie deficit from when I was eating cheese.

I was a little concerned the weekends would be harder but I am really happy with a vegan diet; i was very upset today and had an urge for self-destructive behavior but recovered without eating badly.  Didn't have a healthy dinner tonight-plate of steak fries instead.

I had a snack every couple of hours at work, and drank too many cans of diet Pepsi. I had leftover black bean soup on brown rice for dinner. It was very yummy. My graduate classes start Monday, things will get more complicated.  My brain will be better with more exercise. Started lifting weights in the evening as well as morning today, with just light workout after dinner.

Made a very nice black bean soup for dinner and had a good day at work. I need to keep busy with small jobs I can do without hurting myself.  Annie is stressed about getting married and really just trying to look past the spring semester -- she struggled in the fall.  I'm trying to help Tracy find work, it's been a long 3 months since she lost her last one.  I am managing stress better and my head is working better now that I am eating better.

I had a good first day back with my  students.  Spring semester all the teachers get tense over the high stakes testing, because really the teachers are being judged WAY more than the kids:) Lots of stuff about the interface between politics and the  schools is way messed up, a vast disconnect  from reality and common sense, but I am not going to eat any  comfort over it.  Actually I stay pretty relaxed.  I am grabbing a piece of fruit too often for my  diabetic health, but in general all the quick and easy  ways to combine carbs with  fats(especially fast food) is closed to me now and I am feeling better in the mornings especially.

We had pasta for dinner, because it was quick  and we were out late shopping.  Had planned a black bean soup with corn bread, will have it tomorrow night.  I  had steel cut oatmeal for breakfast and fruit for lunch.

Had to work today but no  students till tomorrow.  My morning blood glucose is too high, a healthy person maintains bg between 80-120.  As a diabetic I should wake up between 120-145, and I'm not there yet but it will get there.  Had beans and rice for dinner-mucho bueno!

Healthy snacks all day.  Made everybody pork chops and fried potatoes and had a lovely  salad with  beans and corn chips.  Just had a banana for bedtime snack.  Back to work  tomorrow.  Feel rested.

Had lunch with a teacher friend. Restaurants will take some time to figure out; this is not a vegan friendly city. Had a late supper-leftovers and a salad.  Back to work on Monday.  Looking forward to my morning coffee. Kensie is proud of me for eating better:)

Spent the holidays saying goodbye to meat.  Spent yesterday beginning a life of strict vegetarianism.  I've spent years as an ovo-lacto vegetarian but never just a plant-eater.  Don't think I will adopt the vegan label because I will certainly continue to wear leather boots, shoes, and coats.  Kensie made me a lovely  dinner last  night. Woke up feeling pretty good.  Vegetable heavy spaghetti sauce and whole grain pasta and an amazing salad. I have to try some vegan ranch dressings though:)