Went for a walk after dinner last night; my back extra fucked this morning but it felt good t the time!:) Coffee, yogurt, russian test this afternoon. Then salad is what I plan for the day!

Had an egg and cheese biscuit from McDonald's this morning; the kids had NCLB tests and I wanted to reward them in advance for not falling asleep during the math tests. Got a sweet email from one of edse professors last night-she seems to think I won't suck. Making pancakes, fried potatoes and omelets for dinner tonight. Lots of good stuff in the omelets.

Had a huge lunch at a Mexican restaurant. Hours ago and I feel like I'll never need to eat again. Last final Thursday! Yeah!

I love yogurt. I think more variety in my breakfast choices might be good, but yogurt is pretty healthy and I love it, so screw variety....(actually sometimes when I'm feeling wacky I'll have mixed fruit...)

Last night I got pissed off that I'm getting very, very little domestic help even though it's my finals week. Then I ate half a bag of nacho dorito chips with a turkey sausage wrap. Have to do better. Reading a book about cognitive eating by Suzanne Beck. It's good.

Tonight Annie having 3-4 friends over so need a teen friendly meal-probably just get some pizzas. My big Russian oral exam today is making me anxious. Я прочитал и писать по-русски гораздо лучше, чем я говорю!

Had a bean taco salad for dinner last night. Eggs and a tortilla for breakfast today. House still stressful but so far I haven't had any emotional eating episodes. Urge to drink has been high though. Contemplating how to get by without health insurance panic inducing kind of thing!:)

Had lasagna for dinner last night w salad. Today I lifted weights as soon as I got up-felt good but kept to a light workout. Have to adapt things to my back. Drinking coffee and thinking about a yogurt flavor-blueberry has a slight edge...

Had nothing but coffee this morning and I'm on the campus till 3pm so I'll wait and get a salad and soup at home. Tonight I'm going to make veggie chili and corn bread mini-muffins-which is probably my favorite dinner I make on a regular basis. Not as healthy as it could be because I smother mine in cheddar cheese.:)

Lovely storm last night. Couldn't go to store to get what I needed so we had frozen pizza. Coffee and yogurt morning. Stir-fry, rice and wee bits of breaded cod fried with fake beer batter tonight. Had one episode of emotional binge eating while dealing with T job loss-late wednesday night. Involved a trip to 7-11 at midnight, actually feeling some shame about it, so pats on the back for fessing up to it. HArd to type one handed while self patting back...

Had an easter feast-turkey, etc. Today will have leftovers. Will attempt to be moderate and avoid acting like a roman at a party!:)

Had a nice meal last night from Rosa's mexican cantina and tortilla factory-cheese enchilada's, salad, beans, rice and tortillas. Lots of salt but it was early in the evening so I had time to counteract what it does to me before I slept. Tonight I think fish because I like the occasional homage to T's catholic childhood. Last night Kensie was the acolyte at the maundy thursday service. Very rarely have a good friday myself, because by then I'm freaking tired!:)

Felt good when I awoke today! Yeah! Had coffee early, just now had two plain biscuits and large hash brown from burger king on way home from campus. Have to find a missing notebook and head back to school. Nasty high winds today and the dogs are a little uneasy. Making baked ziti tonight.

Needed much water this morning before I felt human. (Before that I felt, what, dehydrated skin sack shaped like a human? (or at least a really round human!)) Had a bean burrito for bfast and will have a salad for lunch. Dinner I don't know yet-risotto sounds good!

Had a good day yesterday in my attitude about food. My actions always follow my attitude to a ridiculous degree for a grownup! Out of yogurt! Just got back from campus and haven't had anything but coffee. I want to wait and shop with t so I'll make a couple of eggs and a tortilla. Kids left computer playing music and the safety dance just started when i walked in the door-still love that song! Pizza night tonight-I'll put on lots of veggies and make a nice salad. I actually love salad but sandwiches are so quick-habits are hard to break-need an electrical device that provides shocks when i look at bread!

Woke feeling massively dehydrated and haven't caught up yet. Being thirsty means diabetes not well-controlled, and my metre confirmed it! Have to ask myself, if I'm not motivated to eat well when I'm at risk of amputations, heart disease and kidney failure, what the fuck is up in my head? Answered that question with the realization that I'm afraid of the increased urge to drink when I manage my diabetes, and realized that the drinking is a bigger issue for me because of how scared T would get if I started drinking again and it's effects are immediate while the diabetes is long-term. Hard for me to admit to admit to myself I'm scared about something, yet fear is an absolute constant in my life. I can't remember being afraid very much as a little kid, but I remember things and realize I must have been terrified, but I can't access the feeling even when the memories are vivid. My Mom was a piece of work!:) I'm glad the neurotic behavior I exhibit around my kids was much, much less--maybe by the fifth generation we'll be normal!:) Their childhood was amazingly more stable than mine and massively more loving; I'm proud of myself for that more than anything else, I think. Coffee and yogurt, my favorite morning food. Tonight after dinner I'm going to declare myself fasting till breakfast-it'll help me avoid late night snackage-I need black and white rules.

Yesterday I planned my meals and ate what I'd planned. Had a lovely salad for dinner with black beans and corn, topped with picante and ranch, served on corn chips with very little salt. The at bedtime I ate an entire sleeve of saltine crackers with peanut butter. But I remain optimistic(though dehydrated and sluggish with highly elevated blood glucose levels and shooting pains in my feet) that today will be a good day for my control of diabetes AND my urges to stupid unproductive self-destructive behavior--for I am REAGAN, LORD OF THE jungle gym. (did you watch the tarzan cartoons when we were kids?)

Coffee and yogurt. Salad to follow. T night to make dinner, so probably pizza.

Coffee for breakfast. I'm having a yogurt now at 11am, and will have a salad at 3pm after my observation at the highschool. Starting all the end of semester "projects" that are designed to see if I work well with others. Glad I can fake it!:)

Ran out of coffee this morning. Tried to reach caffeine parity with tea and gave up after 4 cups. About to make eggs and turkey sausage with a wheat tortilla on the side.