Got Annie back in school but had to pick her up today because she started blowing chunks all over the place. Really feel bad for her. Have been stressed and depressed and eating too much, and then not posting because that might interfere with my dealing with stress so badly:)

Life is a process and it's good to have room for improvement! Just decided that-and I didn't have my inner voice that whispers to me when I'm just talking shit because I'm glib and I can...:) I know my eating would be worse without this blog, so I'm not going to beat myself over the head for not being perfect about the way I use it, and I think my audience should do the same!

Last couple days have been really bad-like an alcoholic falling into a vat of wine and trying to drink his way out instead of swim. Can't get a handle on my stress enough to quit feeling panicked. T still getting laid off but we don't know when, her car broken and mine needs new transmission according to the subaru guy that tells us something new every time he has the damn thing. Luckily the warranty covering the cost but we still don't have a car whenever they need it just to not fix it yet. My back is hitting the nine on the ten point pain scale and I found myself thinking about how to sever my spinal nerve so it would stop-I think the walking, feeling, continence and sex life advantages of having even a damaged spinal cord slipped my mind for a while. Things will get better, I will be better.

This morning I ate peanut butter from a spoon and apples. Cheese and eggs. Yesterday I ate a horse, with picante sauce and lots of refritos...woke up feeling like shit.