Known all day that I'll have some of Annie's birthday cake so not particularly mindful. Had a egg and cheese mcbiscuit for breakfast-really downhearted and resigned to failure about Dylan-but wrong to break my dietary rules to punish myself. Strange how typical alcoholic so much of my behavior is-well past thinking of myself as unique. Pizza, cake, corn dogs, big sleepover, ice cream sundaes and a promise to make french toast in the morning-although I loathe the stuff so won't be a temptation. I might allow myself small slice of pizza since already had a gluten consuming morning. On my way back to party venue "main event" to start driving carloads of 16 and 15 year olds over here. Life is brutish and short.

Ate too much on my birthday. This morning got back on my yogurt and coffee routine for breakfast. Have been resisting doing things in a regularly scheduled way-figured out I'm realizing in my bones that in a few weeks I start a 7-4 job with a boss, etc. Haven't had a boss since I was 22. Going to be such an adjustment...

Veggie chili for dinner tonight.

Had a good weekend food-wise. Trying to never eat alone so my eating won't be like solitary drinking. New study says insulin drugs can increase chance of heart attack in diabetics-feel like I'm screwed no matter what:)

Scrapped the soup last night since we hit 65 degrees in the afternoon-yeah! Got time to fix the brakes on my car with Kensie being my helper. Had grilled cheeses on sourdough, fried potatoes with lots of red onion and salad and canned beans-not great beans but I had lots to do. This morning yogurt, lunch with Kensie at a Rosa's tortilla factory during present shopping, and not sure about tonight. Invited a young man from 3 of my classes to dinner on Monday because he can't get home till thursday-not usual for me. Might be getting healthier in my head. Need to manage my kitchen a little more efficiently now to make teaching easier next semester, so I'm redoing all my shelves etc to motivate some changes. Making a pot hanger (as in pots and pans, not weed) to hang over my island that is actually more of an isthmus. Baking today, shipping tomorrow, found my sister an antique china figurine that she'll love-at a thrift store for 2 bucks. Love it when that happens!:) My sis shares my love for old toys.

Thought I was almost done last week when an evil ed teacher gave a take home final that wound up being 10 pages long. But now I'm really done and not nearly as emotionally exhausted and strung out as i was last year at this time, so life improves. Yeah! Been eating very very badly and will fix it for the rest of the year, next two weeks or so besides xmas I am dedicating to healthy habits. I wanted to take a good motivation boos t from your example of a trip to France but there isn't much I want. So I've decided to view my brain as being trapped in an unhealthy vessel; since I care more about my brain than i do my body I think it'll help. Went to a local tejano diner this morning and had my tradituional end of semester breakfast. juevos con chorizo y papas y frijoles. Muy bien pero no es saludable. Tonight veggie stew and cornbread muffins.

Judged at a debate/forensic tourney today for first time in 25 yrs or so-had some fun but bitched in front of some guy and it might bite me in the ass if he's an administrator for the school district I'd like to work for next fall. My mouth is big but my brain is tiny. Ate the barbecue at the tourney and I think it might have been beef. Feel really sick. Should have just said no thanks to the plate as they gave it to me but seemed rude. Had an egg and cheese biscuit today so not good day for my rules. Final tomorrow. K concert at mall.

Last night Kensie had a choir concert so I had to make a quick dinner-leftover soup and grilled cheese. Looking forward to my last final on Saturday-I need to take a deep breath and decompress. Yogurt this morning, a potluck lunch as part of my last class with a really cool ed professor, and planning breakfast for dinner with fried potatoes and veggie omelets.

Worked very hard over the weekend and I feel closer to not buried than I have in many weeks. Ate well over the weekend, but breakfast this morning was three pieces of Riesen chocolate caramel. Very sweet and gooey and the worst possible breakfast I can imagine except cake with ice cream! Salad for lunch, pizza for kids, nachos for me for dinner.

Well, better late than never. Had leftover Turkey for breakfast. Have been stressed but too overwhelmed with things that needed to be done yesterday to eat very much. Not a great silver lining but I'll take it graciously! Tonight I'm making soup and cornbread. Had snow yesterday and cold still today.