Known all day that I'll have some of Annie's birthday cake so not particularly mindful. Had a egg and cheese mcbiscuit for breakfast-really downhearted and resigned to failure about Dylan-but wrong to break my dietary rules to punish myself. Strange how typical alcoholic so much of my behavior is-well past thinking of myself as unique. Pizza, cake, corn dogs, big sleepover, ice cream sundaes and a promise to make french toast in the morning-although I loathe the stuff so won't be a temptation. I might allow myself small slice of pizza since already had a gluten consuming morning. On my way back to party venue "main event" to start driving carloads of 16 and 15 year olds over here. Life is brutish and short.