Fasting today till sundown.

Last few days have been stress filled for me too. Lots of catch up work for school. Yesterday I had nachos with beans and sour cream for dinner, yogurt and an apple for brunch. Up way too early to take online driving safety course the court wants done by tomorrow. Tonight I'm planning cheese or chicken enchiladas, black beans, and spanish rice w salad.

Had three bowls of cornflakes yesterday but i didn't feel like going shopping because my back was in the 8.9 range on a ten point pain scale. So far today I've had yogurt and a salad. Tonight having roast chicken w veggies and pinto beans. I've lost 25 lbs since gave up bread.

Yesterday I behaved maturely in class while quietly plotting an insurrection with my fellow students that will leave the woman abandoned at sea like Bligh with his lifeboat. I actually feel better and have eaten very well today and am feeling good about having lost weight. Tonight I'm making veggie chili and this morning I had eggs for breakfast with refried beans and corn chips. Very yummy. Lots of stresses, but actively coping and planning and dealing.

Monday afternoon I was unjustly, arbitrarily locked out of a class for being two minutes late. I was seething, had trouble letting it go,(oh the inhumanity, the freaking bitch...:)) and that night i binged a bit. I have to develop better coping skills, and maybe some kind of ritual and or punishment for losing control like that.(somehow having to drink a couple shots of bourbon would not be appropriate-although it would make the binging unthought of completely:))(except now that I think about it I would binge constantly so I had to drink...fuck)(excuse my language) Yesterday I ate okay till late afternoon and then had some ice cream that I KNEW was going to screw up my blood sugar for the rest of last night and today-today I go back to the class and I want to be immature towards this bitch with every fiber of my being so I think I was ratiionalizing the self-destructive ice cream as reward for not endulging my irritation. The main positive is that I'm using this blog today as I probably should more often but I hate to dump all this crap on your sweet head that would best be said in a 12 step meeting to other negative people struggling to stay on what seems like an unnatural path. And I hate seeming whiny and immature to a non-addict who will(at least rationnally should!) lose respect for me.

Chicken for breakfast. Breakfast for dinner tonight. (omelets, pancakes...)

I ate well over the weekend except too many chips while watching football-tech got beat by the hated ut saturday night. If my car didn't need new tires I would have driven to austin for the game. Had a presentation this morning and I am in fact an excellent teacher. Sigh...I hate it when T is right:):):) Making pizza for dinner tonight, but will have a lovely chef salad instead. Planning on chicken tacos for lunch w black beans and ensalada.

Need to find new gluten free foods so a cookbook is on the way from my friends at amazon. Tracy had out-patient surgery yesterday and I was stressed before hand but okay during. Yesterday I skipped breakfast, had a salad for lunch, and made a chicken soup for dinner and annie's favorite pancakes for her. T is fine-she had a nasty skin infection she picked up in the hospital. Had a nice fast and got "back on the wagon" bread-wise. Tonight I'm making whatever T wants for dinner-probably lasagna.

Today I ate too much because of stress. I hate that I do that and really want to stop. Slipped on wheat on Saturday and have been struggling ever since to get back on the wagon. Tomorrow I need a spiritual fasting day.

Had a weird day since I'd intended to stay at home to wait for the telephone guy but farmed it out to Dylan to run errands. Had fish for lunch; been skipping breakfast and then eating a 4pm snack of beans with corn chips. Basically neeeded a break from yogurt, finally!:) Tonite we're having crepes w fruit-I'll probably make a veggie filled omelet for me.

Wound up having french fries for dinner last night-not a balanced or healthy meal!:) Still getting used to no breads-eating eggs without toast or biscuits or pancakes is bizarre. Tonight I'm making chicken enchiladas. Today I've had a cheese omelet w lots of picante sauce. Start observing at the kids' high school today.

Took a hike yesterday that was overly ambitious-my lower spine locked down in a massive spasm. Amazing how many things in one's body connect to the spine!:) Still, ate very well except some evil potato chips that beckoned at me all weekend only to seduce me after my back stranded me in front of the tv all evening.

Today I had roast chicken for breakfast and fish and chips for lunch. Salad for dinner since everyone else is having pizza.

Yesterday I had lunch w T- a lovely chicken taco salad. Last night I made tex-mex and tonight will be our weekly sandwich night. Grilled cheese on sourdough w soup, I think. It's raining today and maybe will be soup, salad if it gets hot. Not sure what I'll have for me on sandwich nites-salad and chicken probably. Yogurt and coffee now. Apple for lunch.

Fell down this morning trying to prevent poodle from running out front door to scare old retired judge neighbor. Expecting police to stop by since I both hurt m,yself and failed to grab her. Oh well...nothing but coffee the last couple mornings. Yesterday I didn't eat till after 3pm and then ate too much of a bag of Ruffles. Had to take car into shop today so morning unusual. Not much on campus I can eat without gluten-the salads tend to be yucky and overpriced. Have to get better organized. Last night I made chicken with mushrooms, mashed potatoes with sour cream and mushroom gravy, and black beans with red onion. Tonight I think will be something simple-probably pancakes and omelets. Next week will be less hectic, I hope...